Unicorns are swell, but fisting, well... need we say more?
SHAWN: Who doesn’t love a fine unicorn? Gorgeous white hair, all the rage and speed of a horse, cloven hooves, magic powers, pride, and of course a fucking horn that NEUTRALIZES POISON. Amazing. People have sought this mythical beast for years, equally encouraged by its beauty and mystery. Some of the world’s greatest art features its majesty—the tapestries, The Unicorn in Captivity, David. In many cases, it also flies, which as we recently discussed, is just a plain awesome as heck ability to have. Plus, it’s not a minotaur or a Bill O’Reilly or any of those other mythical beasts constructed to instill fear. The unicorn is one of the few creatures in existence built on love. What has fisting ever given us? Surely not a cure for poison. Surely.
RYAN: The real question is who doesn’t love having a fist up their vagina?
SHAWN: I concede the point.
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