Shawn

Name: Shawn Gizzle

Age: 25 (in human years)

Favorite Food: thumbs

Forty-Yard Dash Time: 1 hour, 24.5 minutes

Pat Sajak or Alex Trebek: yes, please

Why Ryan’s Always Wrong: He drops E.

Favorite Family Circus: The one where Mommy’s yelling at that douchebag Billy because, sure enough, he’s standing right next to her end table and there’s her great grandmother’s antique vase shattered on the ground beside it. Mommy yells, “Who broke my vase?!” to which Billy replies, “Not me!” Lucky for Billy, the Not-Me ghost is lurking right behind the broken vase, trying to tip-toe out of the frame…but, if you ask me, he was caught. That damn ghost was caught.

Favorite Non-Porn-Related Web Site: Abstinence Clearinghouse

Interests: middle-aged man music, autumn, yardsticks, bacon, Hello Kitty, slacks, short walks on the beach, Wii, Robert Frost

Favorite Film: All Dogs Go to Heaven 2: More Dogs Go to Heaven

Favorite Place to Cry: inside

Word That Rhymes with “Quarter”: athletic-supporter

Glasses Prescription: 20/50 (right eye), 20/your-face (left eye)

Friend or Foe: I’d say “the world’s a complicated place”, but that’s what a foe would say.

Least Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: ham

Why Do Men Have Nipples: So no matter the temperature, some part of their body will be hard.

What Would Jesus Do: BANG BANG BANG BANG and KKKAAA CHING and take your money.

Currently Playing on iPod: Awesome God

Least Favorite Berenstain Bear: Papa Bear

Least Favorite Verb: exfoliate

Most Easily Ridiculed Film on Ryan’s Netflix Queue: TIE – Anne Frank: The Whole Story and What Happens in Vegas

Anticipated Daughter’s Name: Accident

Dreamiest Politician: Sen. Barbara Mikulski

Least Favorite Question on this Survey: Least Favorite Question on this Survey