Genre-bending music or ground-breaking constant?
RYAN: In the clique-filled world of numbers, there stands one maverick who refuses to conform to the rules. It’s not odd. It’s not even. Hell, it’s not even rational. I talk, of course, of pi. Pi’s so great (way greater than one, two, or even my personal favorite three) it’s got its own fucking symbol. Does 12 have its own symbol? 7? 36? 2359? Yeah, thought not. See, those are all just drops in the metaphorical bucket of numbers. Where’s pi, you ask? Pi’s doing fucking circles around the bucket. For centuries, maybe even decades, people have long tried to figure out the secret of pi. How far does it go? Is there any pattern? Any repetition in its numbers? But long after these friendless losers gave up, pi is still going strong. It’s like the Energizer bunny of numbers, except after the bunny is dead (or the company ends the marketing campaign), pi will still be going.
SHAWN: You think pi is maverick? How about a funk/rockabilly version of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”? Or an album recorded entirely using solar energy? Maverick enough for you? Yeah, that’s why Cake is way better than pi. Do you think some number you multiply by to find out the circumference of your penis (that math compass hurts) is far more rational than covering “War Pigs”? And if you want something that goes on and on, look no further than “Italian Leather Sofa”. But at least “Italian Leather Sofa” knows about twelve minutes into it that it’s time to end the perfection and let the art just be. Pi, on the other hand, just becomes a tedious, neverending quest that not even Frodo would dare attempt. Everyone knows pi gets boring by the 37th digit. Is it a 7? Who the fuck cares? Last I checked, nobody was dropping $100 to see pi live.
This bunny's got nothing on pi.
RYAN: Being a maverick requires more than being a bunch of song-stealing hippies. But keep at it Cake, stick to those covers with the occasional original song thrown in-between for good measure. To be honest, I’m impressed that Cake can play a song that even lasts 12 minutes. Based on The Distance and Never There, I thought they could only play in three-minute intervals before needing to stop. Then again, the band is really just a bunch of quitters. Are they on their fourth or fifth drummer right now? I can never keep that straight. Maybe the members of Cake could learn a little something about social harmony from pi. With pi, it’s not about each individual number; it’s about what they can do when they join together. Check your ego at the decimal (especially you, #8), and then bask in the glory of knowing you’re involved in something that can never be recreated with mere fractions or integers.
SHAWN: Is there something wrong with three-minute songs? Apparently, there is with three-digit numbers. C’mon, pi, you indecisive pric—just choose a real number for yourself and be on with it. You can’t even finish spelling your own delicious name! And don’t equate quitting with something being wrong. Quitting means perfection. Cake has just realized their band has nothing to do with the drummer (or bass guitarist) because they are perfect with or without. Anyone can pound out those beats—Cake’s about heart and soul and funkality. Pi will never be perfect and knows it. And I can’t help but notice you referring to it as “pi” rather than using the actual symbol that represents it. What? Can’t find it on the keyboard? It’s not there, you say? You have to Insert: Symbol? Well, I hope it has fun in typographical purgatory up there with the umlaut.
Does John McCrea have to drum himself?
RYAN: I guess I don’t consider anything to be great when it only lasts three minutes. At least that’s what my wife is constantly telling me, and I don’t think you want to argue with her. Believe me, I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. But explain to me how quitting means perfection. Doesn’t really make sense. Maybe I’m crazy, but last I checked, something can’t be perfect when it’s not even finished. Pi, on the other hand, will never quit. Sure, it won’t finish. But it sure won’t quit. It will go as long as you want it to, and then some. But God bless Cake. They’ve been around for 17 years now, and it sounds like you think they’re going to be around for a lot longer, so long as they don’t give up. Oh. Wait…
SHAWN: Are you familiar with Cake? Sure, John McCrea sometimes likes to talk about becoming a farmer or an astronaut or a dinosaur, but they’re still going strong. And, hell, are you in Milwaukee on New Year’s Eve? Well, check ’em out, rocking the Milwaukee-renowned Riverside Theater with all the funk of a storm cloud. And the kind of “quitting” I’m talking about is more like “stopping because you are perfect” – like when your wife tells you to stop talking before you say something stupid, which you inevitably don’t do. Let’s allow songs to exist for what they are, rather than causing grief, pain and exhaustion to mathematicians for centuries by continuing long past its welcome. Keep going, pi, and maybe one day you can have the kind of relevance and popularity today as that Energizer Bunny everybody’s still talking about.
Danger Queue 