Two invented flight. The other two look alike.
RYAN: Kitty Hawk. 1903. In an act of unprecedented defiance for their time or ours, Orville and Wilbur Wright instantly became household names by extending a giant middle finger to gravity and flying with the birds. Until that day, gravity had been a cruel dictator that ruled that entire world with an iron fist, forcing people back down to the ground no matter how high they jumped or how many balloons they held. While lesser men cowered and obeyed gravity’s every demand, the Wright Brothers dared to dream. To dream of differential drag and the coefficient of air pressure. And with their historical 59-second flight that surely felt like at least two or three minutes, they broke free from the shackles of physics and weight distribution and said “Hey gravity, how ’bout you sit this next one out?”
SHAWN: If you think The Wright Brothers were ahead of their time, just take a look at a progressive (and hilarious) WB comedy from the mid-90s. Tia, Tamera, Roger and the whole Sister, Sister gang taught us about extending a middle finger to the gravity of sadness by laughing our asses off. Twins have always been funny (see Olsens or Apollo/Artemis), but the Mowrys made twins cute, sassy, and fashionable. Not since Blossom have overalls and fishermen caps been so mischievous and fun. Hell, even their crappier jokes provided laughs that lasted longer than 59 seconds, Wright Brothers. And those brothers were one-hit wonders, whereas the Mowrys’ career extended to hit films like Twitches. The Mowrys are the real heroes. The Wright Brothers are America’s Roger.
They'll always have their Doublemint gum.
RYAN: How exactly was Tia and Tamera’s “comedy” ahead of its time? I like mistaken identity jokes and twins pretending to be one another as much as the next guy, but I liked them more the first time around with “The Parent Trap”. The 1961 version with Hayley Mills, not the career-launching Lohan-ized version. I guess the suits at ABC realized the same thing when they cancelled Sister, Sister almost immediately. Good thing the WB is around to pick up other networks’ scraps. But don’t sell their careers short. There was also Twitches, Too, and, here comes the big one, The Hot Chick starring one Rob Schneider. At least the Wright Brothers had enough class to know when to stop and never sunk down to Rob Schneider territory. For shame, Tia and Tamera. For shame.
SHAWN: How was Sister, Sister ahead of its time, you ask? Fine, if I have to spell it out for you: it’s a black show that only white people talk about fondly. There you go—a thrilling precursor to That’s So Raven, My Brother and Me, The Boondocks, and The OC. Sister, Sister may have been ABC’s scraps, but The WB baked those scraps into a five-season mincemeat pie juggernaut. I mean, why would the same network that cancelled Pushing Daisies and My So-Called Life cancel something people like? Granted, The Hot Chick was a mistake, but that didn’t stop these perseverant sisters from launching singing careers that breached Billboard Top 100. That’s a true champion. Not flash-in-the-pan “inventors” who lucked into creating something that was pretty much already invented. Yeah, they weren’t the first to build and fly an experimental aircraft; they just added controls. I can Wiki your side, too.
Real men only need 59 seconds to get it done.
RYAN: Just added controls? Just added controls?!? That’s like saying Michelangelo just painted the Sistine Chapel or Einstein just discovered the theory of relativity. Downplaying something so monumental is just plain insulting. Sure, not everyone can better the world by paving the way for shows like That’s So Raven. But the Wright Brothers laid the groundwork for all the things we take for granted today: Blue Angels, airports, Top Gun, the Mile High Club, the Travelocity Gnome, and oh so much more. How about this: When you fly to Hawaii in your lavish coach seat, you take a second to thank the Wright Brothers for making your trip possible. And next time I’m ordering a Happy Meal at McDonald’s, I’ll be sure to thank Tia and Tamara for remembering to make my cheeseburger ketchup only.
SHAWN: I suppose controls are important to an airplane but, think about it, how long do you think the airplane would’ve lasted without them? Hours? Years? Well, some are clearly running for United, so I guess it’s still a problem. But here’s the thing: SOMEONE would’ve invented those controls. There’s nothing special about the Wright Brothers besides being born years after the bubonic plague when brothers would’ve been considered disease-ridden evil and left to die in a farm cart. Tia and Tamera, on the other hand, were irreplaceable, as we’ve seen from every twin-related sitcom that’s come since, including Apartment 2F and the recently googled Twins—a poor attempt by the WB to recreate something beautiful and sacred (mostly beautiful). And I’m not sure what McDonald’s you go to, fatty, but the only thing the Mowrys will be doing there is discussing Tia’s 2008 NAACP Image Award nomination over coffee before she gets back to work on the CW’s hit series The Game. Meanwhile, Mr. Wright, my bicycle tire is flat. You better get on that.
Danger Queue 